


Stupid Lizard Brain (Always Gets Me into Trouble)

by GhostxWriter



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A/B/O, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Asexual Character, BAMF Women, Complicated Relationships, Everyone Is Poly Because Avengers, F/F, F/M, Female Alphas, Female Friendship, Fluff (? and smut or smut-like features), Gen, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I have rejected your reality and substituted my own, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Multi, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pack Dynamics, Possibly kink?, Probably kink, Sassy, Slow Build, Strong Female Characters, The Avengers get a new handler, Timeline What Timeline, Weirdness, What Was I Thinking?, What am I doing with my life?, Why Did I Write This?, badass female characters, first fic in a while
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:46:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23796355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostxWriter/pseuds/GhostxWriter
Summary: Agents Kei Cardoso and Eline Drake used to think they were pretty normal, just with a penchant for being in the wrong places at the wrong times (or was it the right times?) and then they got recruited to S.H.I.E.L.D. which was all well and good . . . and then Fury made them the Avenger'sBabysittersHandlers.What could possibly go wrong?The answer? A lot.And a lot could go right. They didn't expect to find a pack, as complicated as it was, but now that it's theirs, there's nothing they won't do to keep it.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Original Female Character(s), Clint Barton/Original Female Character(s), James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s), Loki (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s), Natasha Romanov (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s), Pepper Potts/Original Female Character(s), Pepper Potts/Tony Stark/Original Female Character(s), Sam Wilson (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s), Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s), Thor/Original Female Character(s), Tony Stark/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 40





	Stupid Lizard Brain (Always Gets Me into Trouble)

**Author's Note:**

> **She's back!** *cue the jazz hands*
> 
> Hi all, I'm back after a weirdly long hiatus (I guess a global pandemic has made me retreat back to fic amidst all that's going on). I'm not 100% certain I know what I'm doing with this piece yet, but I think its time this author got back to writing again. 
> 
> Obligatory disclaimer: I seriously got to say that I don't own the Avengers or any part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, blah, blah, blah. You know the drill by now.

Agent Kei Cardoso admitted she was somewhat distracted by the pretty Omega's smile--it was a pity she was probably going to have to shoot her before the week was up. It was just business--especially when your current business was two days before rut was supposed to hit and she was in the middle of talking her way into an underground Alpha cage fighting ring. 

Marie Markov ("MeeMee to my _friends_!") was pretty, vapid, spoiled, and exceedingly rich--and had a decided preference for watching Alphas bleed. When her formidable mother passed away three years ago, leaving Marie sole heiress of a massive shipping company, what else was a sadist to do but start her own MMA-style league? 

When that didn't prove violent enough, she made the logical jump to underground fight clubs . . . with a disinterest in how willing her participants were in being there. Illegal fights, a few _accidental_ deaths, human trafficking, abductions, illegal gambling, the potential charges went on.

Hence Kei's presence. She'd been carefully cultivating Marie's affections for the last two months under the name Lee Prinz, an up and coming Silicon Valley-type with a vicious streak, and timed this latest meeting to coincide with her cycle. 

Given Marie's inclination towards violent encounters, all it took were a few innuendos about "letting off steam" and "eliminating the competition" before Kei left with a location and password for tomorrow night's fight. (Okay, so it had also taken a particularly well-aimed insinuation about her amorous conduct after she got out of the ring, but well, that was to be expected considering that Marie was under the impression they were on a date. But that's how ~~cons~~ _undercover operations_ were supposed to go. Only without the whole _under the covers_ part).

***

The next night, Kei stepped into the ring with her blood running hot in her veins, every sense amplified and all those weird, useless lizard-brain pre-rut/rut hormones and instincts running haywire. Thank God her opponent was one of the bruisers that Marie employed for these fights and not some poor sap abducted from his home and dragged here to bleed and die for the amusement of the masses. 

Speaking of the masses, she caught sight of her partner, Eline Drake, in the crowd. She'd gotten in originally with the bartenders (because what kind of illegal fight for the entertainment of the idle rich would it be without perfectly crafted cocktails?) and was now weaving her way through the crowd, dropping some of Kei's patented nano-bugs and trackers as she went. 

Her job was to survey the crowd, count the guards, and hopefully find where the baddies were keeping their victims, and free them if possible. After all, who looks twice at an unassuming blonde Beta? Pity how the only accurate word in that statement was blonde. 

With her partner's location confirmed, that meant that all Kei had to do was keep the fight going long enough for Eline to do her part--well, that and she supposed they had to wait for the arresting team to get into position. 

Kei tuned out the announcer heaping praise on her undefeated opponent, she wasn't worried in the slightest. (Though how many hits to the head had they taken, naming a big, white dude 'Godzilla' for a fight name?). Though he was big, Kei already knew that this 'Godzilla' wasn't a real fighter. He was just there to beat the shit out of whatever untrained Alpha they'd abducted and smear the ring with their blood. 

Kei was actually a little disappointed; she'd hoped for a real fight. (What? She was about to start her cycle, damnit, and since the hindbrain was basically useless for anything other than fuck and fight, what was she meant to do?) How was she supposed to make this farce last longer than ten minutes? 

Well, stalling seemed like a good tactic so Kei dropped the hood of the cape-thing that Marie had given her and let the rest slither to the floor. From the immediate increase in ambient noise, Kei suspected that no one had been told that she was female. Given their rarity, and the widespread notion that females weren't "real Alphas" she doubted that it had been expected. 

Kei stretched casually, rolling her shoulders back, cracking her neck, and so forth, deliberately relaxing her normally impressive control over how much she scented the air. (People were quick to defend the "its just instinct/biology" crap as an excuse for bad manners, but truthfully, all it took was some practice. The scent gland/releasing of pheromones was technically a muscle, and could, therefore, be controlled. Trouble was, that most people didn't.)

She knew her ploy had been successful when people in the front rows started reacting. Alphas bristled and tugged at their shirt collars as if to hide how many were halfway to presenting their throats. One Omega even slid from her chair with a whine while others shifted uncomfortably in their seats, biting their lips while their own pheromones flared in response. Even the Betas looked affected, all of which Kei's useless lizard brain preened at, as proof of her dominance. (Emphasis on the useless part). 

"A little warning would have been nice," Eline's voice muttered acerbically from her earpiece, "did you have to stir them up like this? Some idiot almost clocked me with all the posturing he was doing to keep anyone from noticing that he bared throat for you. Not to mention what you almost did to me."

"Sorry," Kei murmured back, barely moving her lips, "I was stalling and I wasn't thinking."

Eline harumphed in reply. Considering that she was hiding her status under suppressants, Eline had a right to be grumpy. Kei had been thoughtless and her partner (in crime, as it were) deserved better. Kei apologized again and after a minute, Eline said, "You owe me for this."

"I'm sure I do," Kei responded distractedly, Marie herself had started in on her speech about the "fight of their lives" and a "special treat" and all that other garbage. "Would you have rather sprayed on scent and been the decoy?" 

Eline made a derisive sound (and Kei pointedly ignored the other noises coming from the other woman's com, breaking bones was their usual hold music). "Not this time. I'm getting pretty close to done on my end, but that fight's still gonna have to last twenty minutes or so before the team's in position."

"I'll figure it out, somehow."

Eline cooed sarcastically, "Poor baby, you'll have to string him along. For the op."

"For the op," Kei said as the buzzer sounded and Godzilla made a dash at her, hoping for a brutal first takedown to set the tone. Kei neatly sidestepped and watched the dumbass slam into her corner, full force, coming _this_ close to knocking himself out. She rolled her eyes; this was gonna be a long night. 

***

Nearly a week later, after the arrests and the rescuing of the trafficking victims and all that job-related stuff, found Kei exiting her den to doughnuts brought to her by her very sweet boyfriend. 

Or at least, he was very sweet until he said to her that he was basically going to have to break up with her shortly because he was planning on entering politics soon (following in Daddy's footsteps) and that he, as an Alpha himself, couldn't be seen having an Alpha partner, or even if he could, could it be one who had a more suitably female job? 

Kei thought she restrained herself admirably by merely shoving the man out of her home and then screaming her rage into a pillow for a long minute. 

That pillow was conveniently hiding a gun that she pointed in the direction of her open balcony windows, even though her face was still buried in her pillow. 

Voice only slightly muffled, Kei said, "If you're here to kill me, now might be a good time. If not, then you better have a damn good explanation."

"Does the Director needing a word with you count?" A man's voice said from the direction of her kitchen. "Your aim is as usual, perfect. Gun still tracking me even with your face buried."

"Dude, I'm barely a couple of hours post-rut, all the stupid instincts and senses are still pretty heightened. Which is also why I know you're about to take one of my doughnuts." 

Who knew silence could be petulant? Sight unseen, Kei knew that he was pouting (not that he'd ever let it show), and had removed his hand from the doughnut box. 

She sighed and dropped the pillow. "You could just ask."

"That would be a lot more inviting if you weren't looking down the barrel of a gun when you said it," Nick Fury said to her from where he was leaning casually against her countertop. 

Kei dropped her gun with a sigh. "So, Secret Agent Boss Man, what do I owe the pleasure of this visit? Especially since this is the second time in less than six months you've broken into my home. You have a key, you ought to try using it." 

A corner of his mouth twitched. "I wish you wouldn't call me that."

"Would you rather I used your name, _Nicholas_?" Kei purposely dropped her voice an octave and dragged the syllables of his given name out in a very different tone. A flicker of his eyelid and a slight nostril fare were the only signs he gave that she scored a hit. 

Resuming her previous mannerisms, Kei offered mildly, "You set the rules. But if you expected an obsequious "yes-woman" then you should have absconded with a different agent."

"Speaking of absconding . . ." the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. trailed off.

"Ah, and now we get to the heart of the matter." Kei tilted her head inquisitively, "I knew there had to be a reason that you requisitioned me from the D.O.J. and took Eline from the Secret Service when I wouldn't work with anyone else."

Her current boss (and complicated everything else) went still in that superspy way of his that was all, "I neither confirm nor deny anything.... but how the fuck did you know that?....” Kei wondered if they taught that special at S.H.I.E.L.D.

"Oh Captain, my Captain, take a breath, would you? The statue impersonation isn't doing it for me today. It's not that hard to see that though Eline and I are fantastic at our jobs, you didn't hand-select us from our alphabet soup agencies just for our looks.

"These last six months of ops we've run, they're not S.H.I.E.L.D.'s normal schtick. I still don't know how high our clearance runs and you've let us have our proverbial heads in pretty much everything. 

"So what's the catch?"

Director Fury explained. And then explained again when Agent Kei Cardoso's face froze in that pleasant neutral expression he wished all his agents had. 

"So to get this straight, you want us . . . to babysit the Avengers?"

**Author's Note:**

> 1) Posts new chapter  
> 2) Twiddles thumbs and hits refresh  
> 3) Waits for reaction  
> 4) *crickets*  
> 5) *author sighs*
> 
> I don't bite . . . without permission, honest! Feed the authors ego!


End file.
